I am who I am... Thomasian... LaSallian... Friend... Psychologist extraordinaire... Lover... I am the type of person who thinks I figured out myself one moment, only to implode the next... Giver of great advice and master motivator, I don't follow 'em myself though... I hate authority, and I sure as hell hate being told what to do... I am a rebel without a cause... I am who I am... I am John Allen
   

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I want to fly... I want to elude the enemy with my swift streaking moves... I want to be like this guy like here...

I am 54% evil.

I'm getting there. I haven't done all the damage I could do but I've done quite a bit. I'm just over the border into the Evil Zone.

Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com

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Thursday, September 11, 2014
Keeping things real

So many things have happened... Time to write another entry soon.

Posted at 05:59 am by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Closure

Last night before I slept, I asked for closure. I then fell asleep... I saw her in my dreams... we talked... Every time she talked, it still hurts just as bad. She told me that I needed to achieve closure. She told me that she won't have another boyfriend again... The rest is a blur. It's as if it was real. I don't know if communicating via dreams is true, but it sure made me believe. I miss her, but I've started moving on now... But yeah, it still hurts.

Posted at 09:59 am by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Friday, October 05, 2012
Four and a Half Years Later...

It's been a long time since I last updated this blog... Basing on my entries, it seems that would I only update this blog whenever I feel down... Well, more on that later. A lot has changed in the last 4 and a half years. I had gone on to a strange new land and learned a new dialect, and I have lived, and now I am back to tell the tale. I have found a new love, but every time I update this blog of mine, I seem to have some issues. Alas, that is the case right now. My current partner and I are undergoing some issues. But with all my past experience, I feel that I can handle things better now, but that is not to say that it is still just as painful. So many many changes... but yours truly is still as disjointed as ever, but I on a positive note, I am much stronger now, forged by the hottest fire. Even with my current dilemma in life, there are plenty of things to be thankful for, and I am not taking those for granted. Four and a half years... I will a separate entry about the changes I have undergone through that period, but for now, I just want to say that I am back.

Posted at 03:48 am by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Thursday, February 07, 2008
Running with the Dragons...

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

Happy Chinese New Year! :-) This is my heritage. Last night, my family and I celebrated the Chinese New Year by lighting charcoal, burning a yellow Chinese calendar with our wishes written on an attached piece of paper, and lighting incense.

Today, I celebrate the Chinese New Year by picking up my HOLGA camera from Makati, then going straight to Chinatown in Binondo to run with the Dragons.

I will show you the product of my work really soon.

Anyway, for now, it's back to work for me.


Posted at 08:49 am by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Tuesday, February 05, 2008
What I look Foward To...

Everytime I go to work, I look forward to listening to my music on my MP3 player when I ride the trike on the way to the office. I find it very soothing, especially when the Eraserheads are on. Nobody can touch Ely Buendia :-)

By the time I get to work, I look forward to talking with my friends from work, we usually talk about a lot of stuff, like photography, sports, etc.

I also look forward to finishing my work in a timely fashion so I can be free to do whatever I want. ;-)

By the time I get home, I look forward to passing by Powerbooks in Alabang Town Center. The thought of reading new books, and seeing pretty girls are just too exciting to pass up, This is my utopia :-) BTW, I'm going to pick up the Bigkas Pilipino CD later. I just poetry reading. I'm going to rip it to MP3, and I'm going to stuff it in my player.. wh00t! :-)

When I get home, I look forward to reading a good book, or just reading up on lomography.

2 Weeks from now, I look forward to getting an Ipod Touch. ;-) I'm so excited!

3 Days from now, I'm looking forward to getting my HOLGA camera. Yeah! :-)

This weekend, I'm looking forward to going to Chinatown in Binondo to take some Lomographs of the Chinese new year fesitivities.

No dates for me this year, there's just so many things to do, and so many things to enjoy. >;-)


Posted at 10:47 am by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Sunday, February 03, 2008
Wins and Challenges - Feb 3, '08

Wins:
- I was able to talk with my best buddy Grace.
- I am now open to the idea of dating other girls again.
- I have had great success when it comes to reflecting on the mistakes I committed, and have painstakingly began the slow process to change.
- I was able to download some Hed Kandi music!
- I did some research on Lomography, and I was able to learn a a trick or two.

Challenges:
- I had some regressions... I was tempted to communicate with "creature". But only because 'it' still hasn't returned my family album yet... Will I ever see it again? Time will tell.
- I'm still having depression attacks, but they're not as bad they initially were.
- I still don't enjoy playing with my XBOX360.... it's starting to gather dust... darn.
- I'm still torn whether to get a LOMO cam for my birthday, OR getting an iPOD Touch... decisions, decisions....

Posted at 11:36 pm by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Saturday, February 02, 2008
Snapshots

Since I didn't have any plans for this weekend, I just chatted my day away in mIRC. I was browsing the different channels until I came across #DLSU which had an interesting topic... Lomography.

I was intrigued... Photography is something I've always been interested in, it's just that I haven't gotten around to doing it. Besides, if I had Lomographs, and I posted them here, it would surely enhance the aesthetics of my posts. Me likey!

My first comprehension though was the price, I am currently saving up for a car which I plan to buy on December...

I immediately read on, and then I found this link: Lomo Embassy Manila. I immediately clicked on the link and I found that the prices were quite affordable, now all I need is to have my scanner fixed, and have a little money saved up for film developing, and we're ready to roll!

I will go to Makati next Tuesday with a friend, and we will get Lomo-cams! woohoo! :-)



Posted at 11:10 pm by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Friday, February 01, 2008
Black Hole

I try to escape, but it still sucks me in with all its galaxial might.

I try to avoid its wrath, but I end up being sucked in... against my will.

It's dark.. I'm alone... I desperately cry at the top of my lungs for someone, anyone to rescue me from this vicious vacuum of diabolical blackness.

Then it stops. I am now free again to do whatever I want.

...But everyday I fear that the cursed darkness will be back again...

to suck me back in.


Posted at 06:31 pm by john_allen
put up or shut up  

Working in the Afternoons

Usually, it is when I work in the afternoons which I find challenging, only because I have a hard time staying awake....

The afternoon is usually the time where I go out to watch a movie, eat at restaurant, or just hangout with friends. I don't really like the idea being stuck in chair staring at the monitor... it makes me bored, and I am usually at my most inefficient phase of the day.

Anyway, right now, I am working the 5pm-2am shift at least when I go home I would have the chace to get some sleep then do something worthwhile tommorow (like finding a date LOL).

I might get started on writing that novel... it's been 3 years since I've put it off, maybe it's about time that I actually started doing it....


Posted at 05:21 pm by john_allen
put up or shut up  

New Month, Fresh Start

New month! My birth month! Big Smile

I have fallen... I have been obliterated... but I have risen from the ashes, I am now stronger, and I am much wiser.

I have become too serious about life, and I have been too uptight. Now, I should be more relaxed and composed... I should be nonchalant about most things.

The past few weeks have been quite a trial for me, but I treasure trials for they always carry lessons with them, lessons that we should learn by heart so we avoid making the same mistakes over and over again.

I am a Phoenix... I have risen from the depths, and now I am on Fire! Wink

Time for a total makeover, change for the better.

Charting a new course of positivity.

I have conquered myself. I can now lift my head up high and be proud again.

I have risen to the occasion, and I am proud to be strong. Now I will live everyday as such. Strong.

No words can describe my joy right now... from hereon, there's no way but UP. wh00t! wh00t! Shades

Posted at 02:57 am by john_allen
put up or shut up  

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